If this kid was yours

 On a scale from 1-10 how annoyed do you get when a single person comments on how you parent your child? As a single person does it bother you when parents feel you don't know anything simply because you haven't had a child yet?  Aren't some things just common sense?

Parenting ain't easy but somebody gotta do it! It doesn't take bearing a child to recognize that. Some people are still of the old school mindset that it takes a village to raise a child but how many parents get offended or irked when a "single" person comments or gives input on how to raise their child? And how many single folk get irritated when parents seem oblivious or in denial about their bad children or lack of parenting skills and think that you don't know anything because you're not one?  Well what would you do if THIS was your child? I think it's easy to see there's a problem here, whether you're a parent or not. 

I love BOOBIES!

Each year, in honor of breast cancer awareness month, various organizations create clothing and accessories that support the cause. Over the years, the slogans have changed with the times to become more modern and catchy. Instead of just being pink with the symbolic ribbon, many of these tees dawn slogans such as "Saving Second Base" and "Treasured Chest", bracelets read phrases like "I love boobies". 

The question is, do you feel these are appropriate for middle school and elementary aged children to wear? Would you let your young child wear these to show support and would they understand the purpose? Do you agree with schools banning these items?

Black Marriage: A Negotiation

 Are black women really this bad?! Is this honestly how we are all perceived?

Ahhh... the age old topic of the breakdown of black relationships! This topic will never die because of just how prevalent this issue is. My initial reaction to this clip was to laugh.  It really is quite humorous but is the underlying issue really something to laugh at? After seeing the few male reactions on my initial post and talking to a couple of males who say this is precisely what they've heard from black women, this clip forces me to really question if I am being represented by this character by default simply due to the color of my skin.  These are serious generalizations about black women and I'm really curious if not just black men, but if other men AND women of other ethnic groups also share this perception of or have had this type of experience with black women? Are there no other women who are "like" this? Do Hispanic or Asian people not have these types of discussions? Whites? Has anyone ever dealt with a black woman who does NOT fit into this stereotype? Please someone let me know...

Music Moods

What song or artist do you listen to whenever you feel down, depressed, unmotivated or in an overall FUNK? Who do you listen to to set a romantic or chill mood? Or when you're already crunk and you want to take it to that next level?

Music, to me, is the language of the soul.  I thank God for the individuals out here who have the gift to produce words and melodies that regardless of who you are and no matter what you're going through, you can find something among the plethora of artists, lyrics and songs to relate to.   

When I feel considerably less than my best and totally down on my place in life, I pop in "How Deeply I Need You", "My Help Cometh" or one of my all time favorite Gospel remedies..."Total Praise".   When I'm feeling giddy and nostalgic and want to recall the colorful memories of my youth and teens, there's nothing like the 90s throwbacks like Jodeci, NKOTB, SWV and Keith Sweat that takes me there!

But on days like today when I feel somewhere between a notch above melancholy but a few steps shy of hopeful bliss I turn to a mix of melodic tunes by the likes of A. Keys, Lauryn, Chrisette and, believe it or not, Jay. Each of those artists have a different vibe and play to different emotions but they all work to get me in that "zone"...So my song for today is a live version of one of my faves from my girl A Keys:

Antoine Dodson: A 15 Minute Muse or Menace?

Do you think that Antoine Dodson is perpetuating the negative stereotypes that already plague African Americans or is he just another young man doing his thing to make money and milk his 15 minutes?  Should he have performed at the BET Hip Hop Awards?

 

Do Ultimatums Ever Really Work?

Have you ever been given an ultimatum to do something? Have you ever GIVEN an ultimatum to get your way? Did it work out for you or did it backfire?

ul·ti·ma·tum

noun \ˌəl-tə-ˈmā-təm, -ˈmä-\

plural ul·ti·ma·tums or ul·ti·ma·ta\-tə\

Definition of ULTIMATUM

: a final proposition, condition, or demand; especially : one whose rejection will end negotiations and cause a resort to force or other direct action 

 

If you're anything like me, you don't like to be backed into a corner.  I might be leaning towards going the route you want me to go anyway but as soon as I feel like you take my options away from me, it becomes a problem.  I'm a Sagittarius and we are free-spirited. We already fear confinement and shudder at the thought of not being able to do what we want. Do you know of any situations or relationships (personal, business or otherwise) that formed based off of ultimatums? I'm interested to know if they've lasted or if they've fallen apart.

A friendly piece of advice

What is the single most important advice you can recall your parents or anyone else giving you? How has this advice helped you in life and would you continue to give this advice to future generations or do you feel it wouldn't apply?

Momma never said life would be easy and easy it is NOT! The best thing parents can do is guide and protect but not be overbearing or try to live you life for you.  I have to sit back and wonder sometimes what the children today are being told. What values are being instilled in them and what their mentors are advising them of.  Sometimes the best advice we get is from true friends who have our best interest at heart.  So what piece of advice has been most important to you and what will you share with the world?

Bedroom Boundaries - Pt. 2

At what point do you cross the line from being open to sexual exploration and experimentation over to homosexuality?

If you DO decide to welcome a third party into your bed to add spice, does that make the parties of the same sex gay or does it depend on the specific activity involved?   And what if you find other ways such as toys to add spice....  The following is based on a true story told to me by a friend which sparked this question:

Situation:  Man and woman have been dating for a little bit of time.  Man invites woman over. Upon her arrival he suggests them "get freaky".  He pulls out a strap on and asks her to perform.  Is this gay or is he just a super freak!?.....

Bedroom Boundaries - Pt. 1

Have you ever considered inviting other people to participate in bedroom fantasies? Is this appropriate in any phase of a relationship? If your marriage was on the rocks and you knew this was a fantasy your spouse had, do you think you would fulfill that in effort to save your marriage or do you think it would make matters worse?

Discussion around what happens between couples behind closed doors has long been taboo.   I feel like today a lot more goes or at least a lot more is discussed and out in the open.  It's no secret that many men and women alike have particular fantasies and have at least entertained the idea of engaging in different activities in order to reach their pleasure points.  But is exploring with other people ever a good idea when you're in a relationship or should this be limited to singles just out to play? .....

New Age Bullying

Do you think that kids today are being raised in a manner that makes them "softer", more susceptible and incapable of handling bullying and cyber-bullying? Is the bullying today also worse due to the lack of discipline this generation has? Or has it all been the same all along and it's just more exposed now with all of the social media outlets?

My heart breaks for Asher Brown's, Jessica Logan's and Tyler Clementi's of the world.  My heart also breaks for their families who are left wondering how did this happen and how could it have been prevented and who's gonna pay?  Bullying has been happening since the beginning of time to some degree.  There have always been the outcasts, the ones who didn't quite fit in and those kids who made their lives a living hell.  But I remember being taught how to defend myself, hearing parents instill in their children not to taking any stuff from anyone and growing up with the idea that even if I couldn't handle it, my brothers or my parents would.  Is this not the case these days? We live in the times where a father defends his child against bullies and he's the one arrested. What are your thoughts on this and the growing trend of bullying related suicides? Should we examine the parents and how they're raising kids today or the overwhelming popularity and common misuse and abuse of the media and social outlets that expose these acts and what should the punishments be?

That's Just My Baby Daddy...

Agree or disagree: if there's no significant drama between a dude and his baby momma, he will/would always continue to sleep with her.  What about for women? Does having that bond of a child make you more likely to continue to be intimate?

I was in a relationship once with a man who had children. Although I was grateful to not have to deal with any direct baby momma drama, I always felt it odd that he seemed to not want to introduce me to them. His argument was that they were like family so he didn't feel the need to until he knew for sure about us (though I'd been around everyone else in his fam).  I didn't have an overwhelming desire to meet them but I felt like wouldn't these women want to know who this person is spending so much time around their child? When I finally did meet one, I thought it great that they had a working relationship for the child but I still felt in the back of my mind that there was at least a longing for more on either his part or hers. I just got that vibe. I recently was having a conversation with someone who said that a man is always going to sleep with his baby moms and as long as there's no major drama between the two.  So were my sneaking suspicions correct? Ah, who really cares but perhaps one should be careful of those who claim "that's just my baby daddy/momma".