Chris Brown on Dancing with the Stars...Mixed Emotions from Cast

Chris Brown performed last night on Dancing with the Stars and received an amazing reception.  I was so happy to see him finally be welcomed and appreciated once again for the talent that he is and not for the personal decisions and choices he has made.

Though the audience and some cast members seemed to enjoy his presence and performance, others like dancer Cheryl Burke, not so much.  "As a victim of domestic violence, I don't agree with him coming on the show, but it's out of my control," Burke told Extra.

Part of me understands where she may be coming from, but another part of me feels that she and many others have  personalized the incident with Chris Brown and Rhianna as if it happened to them or a loved one.   In no way do I condone domestic violence and am not excusing what CB did, however, he's not the same man (or men) who battered Cheryl Burke.  I've thankfully never been a victim of domestic violence so I cannot speak from that perspective but I do know that many women are given hell for comparing the next man to the previous one who hurt you and bringing that baggage to the table in any situation.  So my question is why can't people let him live; why do you think people are having such a hard time separating his personal life from his music? Is he the ONLY one in Hollywood to have ever been abusive? Would it be different if it hadn't been Rhianna? Should/will he forever be the poster child for domestic violence? 

Singles vs. Parents: Bias in the Workplace

Some have said that singles have it easy. Overall they seem to have more freedom and less responsibilities. Singles in the workplace may be viewed as having more flexibility, sometimes leading to a broader spectrum of opportunities.  

On the flip side, those who are parents are sometimes said to be favored and given breaks and the benefit of the doubt on things like attendance, flexible work schedules or earning more respect, in general, for being a parent and juggling a career/job.

Do you feel there are biases in the workplace? If so, towards which group...the parents or the singles?

Brown Paper Bag

You may have never experienced being told "You're cute for a brown skinned girl/guy" but you probably have heard it, thought it or know someone who has.

Over the last month, I've found myself discussing, debating and often defending brown skin with different people regarding the age old light skinned vs. dark skinned issue.  The argument: There's simply more attractive light skinned people vs. darker skinned people and it just is what it is. People are more attracted to light skinned people.  My belief: It's a mentality that stems from slavery that associates lighter with being better.

In the first conversation that this argument stemmed from, it was stated that contrary to my belief, it has nothing to do with slavery and more as a result of a survival of the fittest type of thing. People tend to seek out and breed with other attractive people and most of those people tend to be light-skinned.  

There are females whom I know prefer "yella or reddish brown" kids and don't find dark babies attractive. I've witnessed siblings being treated differently due to comlexion. Though I tried to give the benefit of the doubt thinking it was just the difference in their personalities, deep down I can't deny it likely has do with the fact that one is light and the other is dark. Even in my own experience, I can remember my brothers not wanting my mom to let me go to the pool in the summer because God forbid I get blacker.

One friend said her father believes that dark men usually date lighter women to make themselves look better.  He grew up in the South during the times you could "pass" based on the brown paper bag rule. Her grandfather also wouldn't allow her aunts to date darker men so they married light skinned men. From this I understood her mindset.  I wonder if this was my daddy's thinking??? I'll get back on that......

I get argued that even I prefer lighter men based on past boyfriends and who I rave about (i.e. T.I., Devin Thomas) but I guess they forget about the brown boys I've dated and me hollering about Idris Elba, Morris Chestnut and other great pieces of work! To me, attractive is attractive and I don't discriminate.

But to each his own! I still love a good joke or a light debate but my deeper concern and question is: do the majority of people think/feel this way? If so will the message that is still being trickled down through generations ever stop? How can black people ever get upset with other races for discriminating when we either consciously or subconsciously do it to our own? 

2012: Is the End of Time Upon us?

As I watch the tragedy of Japan unfold, I am in awe of the forces of nature that have devastated so many.  It's not the first, nor the last, act of nature to wreak havoc on humanity.  History is riddled with fires, earthquakes, hurricanes, tsunamis and other extraordinary events that have left no person untouched by such impactful disasters.  However, when there are tornadoes in downtown Atlanta, snow in 48 of 50 states and multitudes of birds and fish dying in masses it makes you wonder about the predictions and prophecies of Nostradamus and the Mayan calendar. 

Do you believe in his predictions and that the end of time is near? Or are they simply coincidences that have taken place as nature runs its course?

Shacking Up

It seems that in this day and age, more and more couples choose to live together before they're married. Me and most people I know were raised not to but the reality is that most people I know have or do. If you were raised one way but have since changed your outlook on "shacking up" (as our parents and grandparents called it), what made you change your views?

Do you feel it has lost the stigma and disapproval that was once attached to it? Is it important to learn whether or not you can live with someone before taking those vows? Are there any young people who see shacking up as something inappropriate? And then there's also the study that showed couples who choose cohabitation are more likely to end up in divorce.  What do you believe?

The Ex Factor

While some people may live by the mantra "An ex is an ex for a reason", if you're like me and naturally a 'we are the world', 'can't we all get along' type of person you don't hold grudges for long and can usually find it in your heart to keep it civil with your exes.  But being friendly and forgiving with them can sometimes be trouble, especially when you enter into a new relationship.  

Call it being naive but I do think that in some cases exes can JUST BE COOL! I've been argued down that exes (men especially) only reach back out to an ex in order to keep a door open just in case. I think this is such a masculine mindset to have. Agree or disagree?

SCENARIO :  Exes, who had been estranged for about a year or more, end up casually speaking again on rare occasions. The man then reaches out to the woman to propose a business venture and asks for her help.  He first asks to call and go over it, but then asks to meet in person.  She agrees to at least hear him out but she is also currently involved in a relationship where her new man knows of the past situation.

Is he likely trying to get back into her life using business as a front? Is she wrong to entertain the situation at all? If he was also in a new relationship, would it make him wrong for asking? Would you be okay working with an ex or if your partner chose to?

 

He Might As Well

Why do Men settle down? 

Based on my observations and from things I've heard, it seems like men start to settle down when A) their homeboys do, so they might as well or B) They have their financial life in order so again, they might as well.  C) The chick he's dating might not be the finest or the one he thought he'd see himself with but she's a good enough girl and they've been kicking it for so long and she may even have one or two of his kids so ...he might as well. 

Very rarely do I get the feeling that men decide to settle because they've ultimately found "the one".  The female may be someone who has proven herself worth it to some degree, but not because he's fallen head over heels...but because he might as well!  

I would like to know the top 3 reasons a man decides to settle, from real men, not a book by a comedian turned relationship expert.  How does the way a man decides differ from how women decide?