Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace

At some point or another, I'm sure we've all dated someone whom our families or friends didn't mesh well with or think was good enough for us. Depending on how serious the relationship was, it may not have made a huge different what others thought, afterall, it really only takes the two to make things go right. Then again, love can be blind and we sometimes only see what we want to see and not what we need to see.

What if everyone was warning you, including your gut, about the person you were going to marry? If family or friends went so far as to sabotage your wedding, would you take heed and forgive them or be angry that they tried to interfere?   Or maybe you have already been in a situation where you've realized you should have listened to your loved ones?

What if it was your friend or loved one who was about to seemingly make a great mistake by marrying too soon or for the wrong reasons? How far would you go to keep that person from making a mistake they may regret for the rest of their lives? 

Venus vs. Mars

What's it harder to be in this day and age...a man or a woman?

Some people may shrug and say well 'Hmph, it's easier to be a man because it's a man's world!' However, others might argue that women have come so far that the rights, privileges and opportunities available to us today are equal to or greater than those available to men.  But do men face the same pressures of body image and appearance that women face?  Are women held as accountable or expected to be as responsible for providing and protecting families as men typically have been?   And then there's that thing called pregnancy.....

So? Who has it harder?

Rock -a-bye- Baby

 What is the best way to control a crying or sleepless child when in a public area?


The coos and babbles of a baby can be so sweet. Sometimes even the tiny whimpers and scrunchy-faced cries can be cute for a moment. But when babies and children begin to take their emotion to a whole new level with steady tears paired with high octave screams or constant bubbles and babbling, the novelty begins to fade. No parent can expect a child or infant not to be such but when it occurs in a public place where it can distract others such as church, a library or intimate restaurant, what should they do?  Do you feel mothers/fathers should automatically get up and take their child out as to not disrupt others? What about on plane rides and long term situations in close quarters without the option to dismiss? Some have used or advise a mild sleep aid such as cough syrup.  Do you agree or disagree with this method?

Sugar , Spice and Everything Nice

 Is it just me or are little girls these days maturing at an accelerated pace? I can't recall the first time I ever got a pedicure but I can assure you it was after I was out of diapers.  I clearly remember my dad being rigid about me getting my ears pierced when I was 3rd grade age but now children are barely 3 weeks.  And what about make-up, facials, perms, real clothes, bags and jewelry?  Should five year olds have better make-up sets than 35 year olds?  

At what age do you feel its appropriate for girls to be introduced to these habits? Do you believe some things done at a young is simply preparing them for womanhood or is it growing them up too fast and setting them up to be spoiled and vain?

MLK Day Reduced to a Snow Day?

Two counties in north Georgia decided to hold school on MLK Day in order to make up for snow-days lost during the winter storm that incapacitated Atlanta. This decision has ruffled the feathers of some civil rights groups.  Georgia State NAACP Chapter President Edward DuBose said,"It's an opportunity for people, black and white, to reflect on what King's dream meant for blacks and whites...it's humiliating to hear that school districts want to take a snow day rather than to honor Dr. King's legacy." Fannin and Gilmer county superintendents claim they had very little choice.  "Changing our school calendar is never easy for us, and we regret that we have had to make this decision," he said in an e-mail. "But we believe that it is in the best interest of our students to be in school as much as possible so that they can be successful in life."

Do you feel the NAACP is justified in its reaction to classes being held on MLK day or do you feel this is an example of pulling the race card unnecessarily and the schools meant no harm?  If your child's school was open on MLK day, did/would you let your child go or keep them out of school?

Same Script, Different Cast

 It's been established that we all have our preferences and those often lead us to dating the same type of person.  Opposites can and DO attract, but can they last? Or do the comforts of what we knew always come back to haunt us?

This song.....whew! I get so lost in it because I listen and think damn....I can soooo relate.

I can think of more people than not, who fit these lyrics.  When you see them with someone new, even though it's different person, something is strangely familiar. I'm definitely guilty of falling for the same types and after taking a step back to reflect I realized that was the damn problem!  You can't keep doing the same things, or in this case, dating the same kind of people and expect different results.  If so, that just makes you crazy.  But say those of us who suffer from the same type syndrome to manage to break the mold for a change. Is it possible to ever truly be 100% attracted to someone who isn't your type? If someone differs physically or personality-wise from what you've been accustomed to, do you think it can really work or will those preferences that we've talked about previously ultimately prevail?

The Sliding Scale

What matters more to men ? A bangin' body or a pretty face? And if she's physically positive on the scale, are you more likely to deal with shortcomings or even craziness? 


Men are physical creatures.  That's nothing new. But what never ceases to amaze me is just how different it seems their trains of thought and priorities are from ours.   Over the years and a lot more recently, I've witnessed guys deal with women who they clearly don't intend on being with for the long-haul. Okay, so it happens. We all have different needs that need to be met and some may just be for the moment.  What I moreso don't get is why some dudes, despite referring to a girl as "crazy" or not his type would still be willing to deal with her but have the nerve to get upset or demean her when she trips out?  If you know a girl is into you more than you are into her and/or she exhibits any signs they may deem her unstable, why would you have anything to do with her at all? Does physical really trump sanity? 

After having the following convo with one of my home boys, I know the physical doesn't win all the time, but still from my experience, it does most of the time and most of the time it's with men. My boy said there's a female he sees every so often and always thinks, "Damn, she's fine" and wonders why he never tried to holla, but when she opens her mouth, he remembers why; he thinks she's crazy!  According to him, it's a sliding scale that you go off of.  Does a girl look good enough to make up for her acting crazy? With this particular one, she does not- she slid off the crazy side of the scale (in his words).    Funny, but do men really go off of this sliding scale?  Are you more likely to deal with crazy if she's fine as hell or has great sex? Can the scale also be applied to a man's priority or preference when it comes to body vs. face?  Which brings me to my other debate...

A recent convo about the new girl on Jersey Shore brought up the question again, are men more likely to choose a banging body or a pretty face?   My other guy friend likes Snookie's new friend Deena and said she has "everything in place". To which I retorted, "Except her face."  We talked about how most of the girls on the show, including the ones the guys bring home, aren't amazing lookers. So based on this plus numerous conversations and observations with male cohorts, I would have to say that 99% of the time, a banging body wins, hands (or pants) down.  Agree or disagree? 

Oprah's OWN Blasted by BET Founder Sheila Johnson

                                                                  (Photo by Getty Images)
 

"The only advice that I say, let's open up your circle a little bit more. You know, we love the Dr. Phils. We love the Suze Ormans. Let's open up. There are other people. And there's also African-American experts out there that I think she should start bringing on her show that can reach even a wider audience."  

These thoughts shared by co-founder and billionaire Sheila Johnson during an interview on NPR's "Tell Me More" segment have sparked a reasonable debate about the diversity of Oprah's recently launched OWN.  Johnson, along with her then husband, created BET decades ago but has since admitted she's ashamed of what BET has become today.  Are her opinions hypocritical and unfounded against Oprah's achievements or would you agree that despite the success she's had, Oprah has failed to produce any type of diversity with her talk show and now her new network?

Facebook Frontin' Pt. 2

Facebook....the billion dollar social entity that has become the way, the truth AND the light for some.  A reality for so many of its users but what's really real? We've seen Facebook frontin' at it's finest with the young man perpetrating like he was hard until his uncle made him "run tell dat".  But what about the other extreme? A friend once said he felt like Facebook had become the Bible with all the scripture quotes and testimonies that were filling up his daily news feed.  I wonder, too, at times if posting things like that makes people feel any more Christian or validated in general if the world can see it; or if they are genuine in their thoughts and actions offline as well as on?  Are the men and women talkin' about they got this and that truly about what they post or just fakin? 

Let's flip it and examine yet another scenario:

Scenario:  A group of friends go out to celebrate a major accomplishment of one of their friends. They do a lot of drinking, partying and doing whatever a group of 20 and 30 somethings living 20 and 30 something lives would do.  One person posts and tags pictures of the others and there's alcohol and such in the photos.  As a result, one of the peers is reprimanded at work and comes close to being fired due to a colleague seeing the pics.  From then on they ask their pals for certain photos not to be posted or tagged. Others accuse them of being fake and say they shouldn't take the pictures to begin with.  Is that person frontin' or just looking out for his or her best interest? Is it fair that people are judged based on their Facebook pages and should that just be expected?  How much stock do you put into people's posts and profiles and do you believe FB has become a haven for people trying to be more, or less, than who they actually are?

Facebook Frontin' Pt. 1

 This man beats his nephew for "frontin" on Facebook about gang activity, etc... Should more fathers, uncles and households take this type of action?...........

Might seem like a good idea to instill fear like this, right? May even be a bit humorous. But then I came across these comments in response to the video: "If all black parents were like this man the black race wouldnt be worthless to the planet...

Im glad this only happens in 1% of the black homes, i kinda like them niggers being the way they are. Worthless"

"This video reaffirms my gratefulness that I wasn't born a nigger." 

And that's not even half of the egregious comments made. It then begs the question: Is this man's response to his nephews actions actually just reinforcing negative behaviors? Especially ones that put us at the core of scrutiny by obvious white supremacists and maybe even ones who are not so obvious... 

Once an Addict, always an Addict?

I've had the debate before about whether or not people can really change? That's one major debate in itself but to be more specific, if someone is an addict, will they always and forever be an addict, even if they "get clean" for some amount of time?

A recent example is the homeless man with a Golden Radio Voice.  According to reports, he once upon a time had a life until drugs and alcohol led him down the wrong path.  He has now been given amazing opportunities to turn that all around.  Do you think he will succeed or will the inner addict pull him back down eventually?  Even if he manages to stay "clean" do you think the stigma of having been homeless will always follow him no matter what he was before, or after?

Does Money Justify Wrongful Inprisonment?

If you had been locked up for years, convicted of a crime you didn't commit until DNA proved otherwise..what amount of money be good enough to make up for such a grave injustice? Or would you expect something else?  

Is Beyonce the female Michael Jackson?

Beyonce's reign over the music industry in the last decade is undeniable. She went from an artist, built an empire (thanks in large part to Matthew Knowles) and now she's not only an artist but has become a brand. But do you think she would still be who she is today if she had not started with Destiny's Child? If she still had the vocal ability but not the looks and moves, would she be as successful? Finally, she was deemed the female Michael Jackson during one debate....but would you agree or disagree? Can she compare?

Justifiable Attitudes

For so long, black women have been stereotyped with having attitudes making us known for being difficult to deal with and the "cause" of why some black men choose to date outside of their race.  Does anyone ever explore why we might have an attitude or does it not even matter?  Are attitudes justifiable in the following situations?

SCENARIO #1:  Girlfriend is traveling to meet boyfriend at his job (to which she's never been before).  She calls him and says she's lost.  Agitated, the first thing he says is "How did you get lost it's only two turns?"  She immediately cops an attitude.    Is she wrong? Or is he for coming at her like that? 


SCENARIO #2:  Husband/boyfriend has a sketchy past as far as it relates to being trustworthy.  Wife/girlfriend has worked through and stuck it out.  She is expecting him home at a certain time but he strolls in hours later.  She has an attitude by then.  He doesn't understand why.  Is she wrong?