Brown Paper Bag

You may have never experienced being told "You're cute for a brown skinned girl/guy" but you probably have heard it, thought it or know someone who has.

Over the last month, I've found myself discussing, debating and often defending brown skin with different people regarding the age old light skinned vs. dark skinned issue.  The argument: There's simply more attractive light skinned people vs. darker skinned people and it just is what it is. People are more attracted to light skinned people.  My belief: It's a mentality that stems from slavery that associates lighter with being better.

In the first conversation that this argument stemmed from, it was stated that contrary to my belief, it has nothing to do with slavery and more as a result of a survival of the fittest type of thing. People tend to seek out and breed with other attractive people and most of those people tend to be light-skinned.  

There are females whom I know prefer "yella or reddish brown" kids and don't find dark babies attractive. I've witnessed siblings being treated differently due to comlexion. Though I tried to give the benefit of the doubt thinking it was just the difference in their personalities, deep down I can't deny it likely has do with the fact that one is light and the other is dark. Even in my own experience, I can remember my brothers not wanting my mom to let me go to the pool in the summer because God forbid I get blacker.

One friend said her father believes that dark men usually date lighter women to make themselves look better.  He grew up in the South during the times you could "pass" based on the brown paper bag rule. Her grandfather also wouldn't allow her aunts to date darker men so they married light skinned men. From this I understood her mindset.  I wonder if this was my daddy's thinking??? I'll get back on that......

I get argued that even I prefer lighter men based on past boyfriends and who I rave about (i.e. T.I., Devin Thomas) but I guess they forget about the brown boys I've dated and me hollering about Idris Elba, Morris Chestnut and other great pieces of work! To me, attractive is attractive and I don't discriminate.

But to each his own! I still love a good joke or a light debate but my deeper concern and question is: do the majority of people think/feel this way? If so will the message that is still being trickled down through generations ever stop? How can black people ever get upset with other races for discriminating when we either consciously or subconsciously do it to our own?